God is Love.

So I just wrote a super long post that got deleted, because apparently the internet here doesn’t like me. I’m just going to write a new one with some aspects included, because I believe it’s theraputic for me anyways.

I’ve been very guilt ridden today. Thinking about my old roommates, the boy I used to babysit, the friends and ‘enemies’ I left behind in Nashua.

I want to accept responsibility for the things I’ve done wrong in those situations. Sometimes I can. But in other cases, it’s harder. I can’t regret bringing the bunnies or Monty into our lives. I just can’t. They’re my family. They teach us and we teach them. About nature, love, living simply, and commitment. And, while I can have guilt, have sorrow, and certainly have a complicated past, I can’t live with regrets. Part of that is because it’s unhealthy, but it’s also partly because I trust what God says. Forgive them for they know not what they do. This applies to me and everyone else involved. Sometimes I was ignorant, and sometimes my values just didn’t match up with other people’s. I can’t place material things above my family; whether that be the animals or my future children.

I talked to my mom today. She’s upset that I’m not working right now. Partly for reasons that aren’t as reasonable (it’s not “normal” - but nothing about our lives is normal right now!), and partly for reasons more founded (she’s paid to help me in a pinch, but Alan’s parents haven’t done the same). I felt like a failure, and I wanted to die. It’s seems trivial doesn’t it? I bet most of you can have a conversation with your parents about their expectations without feeling suicidal. But I’m still working on my emotional issues and the interpersonal conflicts that come along with those. As my grandma says, I don’t need their approval. I only need their love. 

I’m going to pray today, go to therapy, and clean house (literally and metaphorically). Hopefully a combination of those things will restore me to sanity.

To anyone reading this, I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sure I have. God bless you. <3

assbutt-in-the-garrison:

i-cant-nope:

assbutt-in-the-garrison:

One time I was masturbating in the shower and came so hard that I couldn’t keep in my scream but I knew my brother was in the bedroom next door and that he’d hear and know what I was doing so I quickly transitioned into singing the opening of the Lion King.

i have an unknown need to reblog this

This is going to be my most tumblr famous post.

I can feel it my lions.

I mean my loins.

I DID THIS ALL THE TIME. With varying song choices.  :P

“CPCs are “fake” abortion clinics run by extreme anti-abortion groups that imitate actual abortion clinics, despite the fact that they do not provide abortion or contraceptive services and the majority are not medical clinics at all. CPCs typically use deceptive advertising tactics to mask their true anti-abortion agenda and to bring women into their facilities. Using misinformation, shame and scare tactics, these centers seek to dissuade women who face unintended pregnancies from choosing abortion.”

I’ve volunteered for Crisis Pregnancy Centers before who provided pregnancy tests, free baby clothes/supplies, parenting or pregnancy courses, adoption referrals, and unbiased options counseling. A lot of them would lose their funding if they spoke out against abortion, even if one of their staff was seen protesting for example. Few are fully Christian, many are secular.

The ones that DO give false information or mistreat the women who come in SHOULD be closed down or dealt with, absolutely. But a lot of these places do plenty of good and are interested in dealing with the “crisis” (whether financial, unplanned, lack of social support, etc) element than the pregnancy element. Most of them want to help.

It is absolutely incorrect to say that every crisis pregnancy center is a fake abortion clinic.